BABY KINGSWAY

I stared all through last night. I mean, I was very astonished at what I saw. Yes, some call them Prostitutes, to others they're Call girls, while to few they're Commercial Sex Workers (CSW). But the ladies I saw last night were so beautiful, they looked so perfect you'll think they're made in US or something. They were so Queens-looking I could hear my heart screaming, "Jesus! Where are those princesses from!?" I would have settled down with one them if eventually I come across her on a good day. Sunday service to be precise. I've always heard they are usually the choristers and innocent looking 'sister in the lord' in religious circles but I don't want to believe that assertion is true. Now, I'm not even sure I'm lucky I'm not married yet. Moreover, with the increasing divorce rate in Nigeria (marriages breaking up after Two years) it really calls for complete revolution and God's presence to get the right person.

Yesterday, Nigeria celebrated her Democracy day and while everyone was out, I was in chatting as usual on my BB. Then a call from my neighbor asking if I would join him to rescue one of his client whom according to him was "stuck in the 'Happening Center'." If you're familiar with Abuja you'll understand what I mean. The Central area is where the who-is-who in the country hangs out at night. Lot of buildings you see during the day and would assume they're office buildings but at nights, omo mehn!, things are happening. Some peeps are constantly painting the town RED. Everyday is certainly a Christmas day in the 'happening center.'

You know, during the day, there are this buses you see around with some teenagers sitting inside. They usually have One or Two policemen accompanying them. These are the Anti-prostitution and Human trafficking agency, not sure what their real name is. But what surprised me yesterday wasn't the presence of these pretty damsels, not even the factory-fitted tantalising princesses, but the fact that this same spots you'll usually find these buses is the same spot the CSW parades at nights. Funny enough, the agency closes but the CSW don't or should I say, "the CSW resumes duty when they close."

So, at the suggestion of my neighbor we decided to inquire on their charges. I wasn't just shocked with what I heard. I think I fainted at one point. Imagine a girl of below 20 years billing you 25,000 for a 'short-time' and 40,000 for 'long time'. The Short-time I learnt would take you Two hours at most while the Long-time is all night rounds of s*x. Well, having learnt from the Chinese culture of bargaining as an art, I eagerly tried my Asian skill. "Ok, I will give you 5k for long-time" I said, "and 2k for short-time." Well, I was lucky we were in my neighbor's car. Else, I wouldn't be telling you this story in one piece. From what I saw and heard, mehn!, the entire network of CSW's came charging towards us. Although, it wasn't funny as though my neighbor made it seem, he laughed so loud at my silly act. Not like I couldn't afford that but to think of what happens in Abuja, every night, is something else.

Perhaps, the Oyinbos on our soil have effected the rates, coupled with the ignoble politicians I saw last night in their heavy guarded convoys arriving the Lounges, you'll think National Assembly legislators have extended their constitution amendment rendezvous outside of the accursed dome sitting next to the Asshole rock.

However, what my night-crawling unveiling venture revealed wasn't just the conventional gallivanting of prostitutes in the nights but the 21st century, internet driven, well organised network of prostitute-customer relations. While we vamoosed the angry CSW who rained curses on themselves, not me, I overheard one of them saying, "do you think I'm a Badoo girl?" So I inquired from my neighbor what she meant by Badoo girl? (Hmmm...this is that part I'll say, "don't try this at home" Hahahah) Ok. Badoo is a social networking site like Facebook where people get together, hook up. I didn't waste time at all, I launched on the said network out of curiosity. To say the least, CSW no longer need to stand on the streets, that approach/ style is outdated! All you need do is...ehmmm...I comment my reserve.

It is said that, "Any society ruled by a bastard, its womenfolk are all prostitutes," how true our ancestors are, I don't know. But to think of unemployment and great disparity between the rich and the poor in Nigeria is very alarming. Not only do I weep for our mothers whose daughters have resorted to this villainous profession to fend for themselves and their relatives in this pathetic part of the world but I weep for my country, consistently, and i refuse to be comforted. May the good Lord, Allah and whatever name the Holy one you serve is called come to our rescue.


Chi Josh